Perfection vs. Chaos

"Are you okay?" Is the comment that I get, and that I myself have given recently over the last few weeks. My response in my mind is always, "As perfect as a perfectly pair of polished shoes." Sarcastically said because I really want to say no. But in all actuality my response is, "Yes, or I will be."

What no ones knows is that the perfect pair of polished shoes I think about always is the pair that sits in my closet, untouched by anything other than dust. My old pair of military boots that I retired a few years ago. My life is in direct contrast, but always I think of what it would be if for once I could say that my life was hidden deep in a closet to only be dusted off on occasion, or when trying to help someone find the perfect halloween costume, and I stumble accross them, still full of shine just as the day I put them there. I wish I could say that for a short time, my life could be without the drama that has infected me over and over again this year, like a snake that continues to strike when there's no longer a need because the prey is already dead.

Tonight, at the end of another drama filled day of my thoughts screaming, "REALLY? REALLY?" and "When it rains it pours..." I will go home, spend time with my children, and I think for the first time in ages, I will pull out those hidden away boots, and reshine them, if for nothing other than my own pleasure of knowing that at least something in my life remains perfect even if the rest lives in chaos.